We want our children to become sensible, self-confident, independent people. People who can rely on themselves for once.
And we want to do our job well, better than our parents. Or at least differently. In the same breath, the question arises: “How do I educate properly? ” There is no single answer to this question; educational concepts are individual. Nevertheless, most people agree that consistent parenting is essential. Consistency means having a clear guideline to which both parents and children adhere. Consistency creates security because children know what to expect. It makes it easier for parents and children to live together.
What sounds so simple in theory is usually difficult in everyday life. Parents react situationally.
Stress, pressure and thin nerves lead to a preference to avoid conflicts and discard rules.
However, it pays to emphasize consistent parenting. Without firm rules, uncertainty reigns and your child will have to test his or her limits again and again.
Below you will find ten tips that promote consistent parenting and thus a relaxed family life.
Table of contents
1. Set Clear Rules
Consistent parenting starts with formulating clear rules.
Children can’t know what you’re being asked to do unless you’re told. Parents should consider what framework they want to set that will always apply. For example, that eating is only done at the table. It helps to ritualize these rules so they don’t have to be renegotiated over and over again.
2. Comprehensibility Of Rules
It is easier for children if they understand the reasons for prohibitions. In this way, they learn to put their own needs second.
For example, it is more effective to say, “Please be quiet, your brother wants to sleep,” than just “Be quiet.”
3. Logical Consequence, Rather Than Arbitrary Punishment
Consistent parenting also means letting children feel the consequences of their actions. While a punishment is always a consequence, it is often not a logical one that the child can comprehend.
A logical consequence is directly related to the misbehavior. So, for example, if the child does not want to wear a bicycle helmet, then he or she is not allowed to ride a bicycle.
It is up to the child: If he wants to ride a bike, he will probably have to put on the helmet in the future.
A good guideline here is always to separate the child from the object of dispute.
4. Exceptions Confirm The Rule
In some situations, it makes sense not to stubbornly insist on the agreed rules. For example, if the child is no longer allowed to use the computer, but urgently needs it for homework. Children understand what exceptions are, as long as the rules remain in place in the future.
5. Be A Role Model Yourself
If you want to educate children, you must always reflect on your own behavior. As a parent, you have a role model function that has a great influence on the child. After all, why shouldn’t it imitate what mom does?
6. Don’t Let Anyone Tell You What To Do!
Parents know the problem that everyone thinks they have a say when it comes to parenting. The looks and comments of other people can easily make you feel insecure.
So it seems obvious to avoid uncomfortable situations in public. So now the child may not scream because he got the candy bar at the supermarket checkout after all.
The result, however, is that he or she will scream again the next time.
Consistent parenting means freeing oneself from the remarks of others and enduring certain situations.
7. Consider The Child’s Developmental Stage
Babies cry when they want something because they cannot communicate with us in any other way. Rules make little sense now; they must always be adapted to the child’s age. Toddlers, for example, have a strong urge to explore, which is why it makes sense to prohibit only as much as necessary.
8. Encourage Personal Responsibility
Gradually, children should learn to take more and more responsibility for themselves. These areas, such as their own room or pocket money, should not be controlled too much. Own drive is always a better motivation than rules from the outside.
9. Participate In The Life Of The Children
Interest, empathy, active listening and regular conversations strengthen the bond between parents and children. You develop a sense for the child’s needs. This enables you to better assess him or her when he or she exhibits undesirable behaviors. Children have many feelings that they often cannot yet regulate. Instead of punishment, sometimes comfort and understanding are more appropriate.
10. Parents Are Also Allowed To Say “No”!
Over the numerous needs of the children, parents sometimes forget themselves. But parents also have needs for peace, order, or simply for a cup of coffee. You are also allowed to say:
“No, I don’t want to do that right now, because …“
Happy parents also have happy children. So listen to your own needs, because only you can do that.