My daughters are 3 years old and 14 months. If we want another child close in age to our first two, then the time to start trying is now . But how do I do that when sometimes I feel like I am failing at motherhood? Is it wrong to add to our family when I feel like I am making mistake after mistake and I won’t ever get this right?
My husband and I have two kids and we are trying to decide whether or not to have a third. We knew from the very beginning that we would have at least two children. We wanted our first daughter to have a playmate and grow up with a brother or a sister. We also knew we wanted them to be close in age, so we started trying when our first daughter was a little over a year old.
One kid is easier to parent than two – it’s as simple as that. Adding a baby to our dynamic rocked my world. If adding a second child was hard, how much harder will it be to add a third? Is that something that I can mentally, physically and spiritually handle?
Everyone I ask and everything I read says that having three is actually the magical number. You let your kids eat food off the floor, blow off a dropped pacie and grocery shopping is a breeze. Well, to be completely honest here, I already do 1 and 2 and grocery shopping will never be a breeze. I’m too much of a couponer to be entirely relaxed.
What am I afraid of?
The lack of sleep
Having a toddler who didn’t sleep through the night and a baby who was up every few hours meant I got much less sleep than I needed. I don’t know if I can physically do that again.
The yelling/crying/whining/constant noise
With two kids, there is hardly any silence. What’s left might be completely gone if we add a third child.
Three kids who need something all the time
I can only do so many things at once. I just barely get 2 kid’s needs met when they both want something at the same time.
This is a biggie. There is a fine line between being loud enough to be heard and yelling. Sometimes this line gets crossed and that is not the kind of mother I want to be. Will a third child make my parenting struggles harder?
Daycare is a fact of life with two working parents. Two kids is manageable by changing our work schedules, but I’m not sure we can afford another child.
So, what do I do?
Part of the decision, as you may have guessed, is that my husband has always wanted a son. But a recent post from The Humbled Homemaker titled A Dad “Stuck” With Daughters has made us reconsider where that desire is really coming from. How do you know when your family is complete?
These two posts from Oh, Honestly! make it seem do-able, but I’m still not sure.
Now that my youngest is 14 months, things are getting a little easier but I still make mistakes every day. Motherhood is one challenge after another. As soon as you learn to handle one thing, they’re off to the next.
What made you decide to have a second or third (or more!) children? Let me know in the comments or over on Facebook.