I am a stay at home mome on the weekends, but what does that mean? Technically, I would describe myself as a Working Mom because I have a 9-5 job outside the home. However, I am also a Work at Home Mom (early in the morning and at night) and a Stay at Home Mom (on the weekends).
I’m A Stay At Home Mom On The Weekends
It seems like it has to be all or nothing. You’re either a Stay at Home Mom or you’re not. You’re either a Working Mom or you’re not. The only gray area you get is being a Work at Home Mom which kind of seems like the best of both worlds (which may or may not be true).
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why do we have to categorize each other all the time?
You might think that someone else is labeling you. That society and social media are enforcing these views on women. But is that really true?
Have you seen those funny quizzes on Facebook – what kind of Disney princess are you? what kind of mom are you? do you cut your fruit the right way?
No one forces us to watch these videos, but they keep getting views and clicks and responses because that is what we want to see. No matter how hard I fight it, I want to know which Disney princess I am (I’m totally Belle BTW, I’m a complete bookworm).
I WANT a label. I WANT to know what kind of mom I am. That’s why we have these mom labels. It helps to center us and give us a path to follow in an uncertain world. Being a stay at home mom or a work at home mom or not a mom at all – they are all just labels. Labels put you into groups.
No matter how hard you fight it, you WANT to belong to a group of people that are just like you.
Every stay at home mom wants to know what other stay at home moms do – how they parent, how they keep a home neat and clean, how they load the dishwasher. They want to go on playdates and talk about their kids every day. Because it makes them feel like they belong. Like they’re not alone in this mommy journey.
Same thing for work at home moms and working moms. We talk about how divisive and unrealistic these labels are, but you know what? They’re really not all that bad. This isn’t a competition and no one’s is going to come out on top.
When you change your perspective away from the Mommy Wars, and realize we are all just trying to be the best parent we can be to the best of our abilities – everything changes.
It’s ok to have a dozen different Disney princesses. It’s even ok to identify with more than one at different times in your life. Today I feel like Belle, but tomorrow it might be Cinderella (facing endless loads of laundry). I’m still a mom, every day – at work or at home, in a home office or at the park, playing with my kids or signing a corporate contract. It doesn’t matter if my label is stay at home mom or not. All that matters is tht I am a good mom.
And so are you.
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