I am a stay at home mome on the weekends, but what does that mean? Technically, I would describe myself as a Working Mom because I have a 9-5 job outside the home. However, I am also a Work at Home Mom (early in the morning and at night) and a Stay at Home Mom (on the weekends).
I’m A Stay At Home Mom On The Weekends
It seems like it has to be all or nothing. You’re either a Stay at Home Mom or you’re not. You’re either a Working Mom or you’re not. The only gray area you get is being a Work at Home Mom which kind of seems like the best of both worlds (which may or may not be true).
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why do we have to categorize each other all the time?
You might think that someone else is labeling you. That society and social media are enforcing these views on women. But is that really true?
Have you seen those funny quizzes on Facebook – what kind of Disney princess are you? what kind of mom are you? do you cut your fruit the right way?
No one forces us to watch these videos, but they keep getting views and clicks and responses because that is what we want to see. No matter how hard I fight it, I want to know which Disney princess I am (I’m totally Belle BTW, I’m a complete bookworm).
I WANT a label. I WANT to know what kind of mom I am. That’s why we have these mom labels. It helps to center us and give us a path to follow in an uncertain world. Being a stay at home mom or a work at home mom or not a mom at all – they are all just labels. Labels put you into groups.
No matter how hard you fight it, you WANT to belong to a group of people that are just like you.
Every stay at home mom wants to know what other stay at home moms do – how they parent, how they keep a home neat and clean, how they load the dishwasher. They want to go on playdates and talk about their kids every day. Because it makes them feel like they belong. Like they’re not alone in this mommy journey.
Same thing for work at home moms and working moms. We talk about how divisive and unrealistic these labels are, but you know what? They’re really not all that bad. This isn’t a competition and no one’s is going to come out on top.
When you change your perspective away from the Mommy Wars, and realize we are all just trying to be the best parent we can be to the best of our abilities – everything changes.
It’s ok to have a dozen different Disney princesses. It’s even ok to identify with more than one at different times in your life. Today I feel like Belle, but tomorrow it might be Cinderella (facing endless loads of laundry). I’m still a mom, every day – at work or at home, in a home office or at the park, playing with my kids or signing a corporate contract. It doesn’t matter if my label is stay at home mom or not. All that matters is tht I am a good mom.
And so are you.
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For The Stay At Home Moms Becoming Work At Home Moms
hahaha I love this.. I am exactly like you.. working/wah/sah on the weekend 🙂
Great post! When and why did moms start competing so fiercely? A mom is a mom no matter her work situation
We all share the desire to love our children with all our hearts- love your focus on that. 🙂 I agree, let’s focus on what we have in common and encourage each other in the journey!
I love this. I am also a stay-at-home mom on the weekends. I think each different situation has it’s pros and cons and I cannot imagine why it matters so much to others how we choose to handle our individual families.
This is such a great perspective to take, Kristen, and one that all moms should take. You’re right in saying that labels make us feel comfortable, like we belong (I know that’s fairly accurate about me). But it shouldn’t be our end all be all. Like you said, it’s ok to have a dozen types of moms (or Disney princess, for that matter. I’m Belle too btw!), but at the end of it all we’re all just moms trying our best to raise our children (and maybe not get buried under that pile of laundry that’s slowly piling into epic proportions in our home…). Thank you for such an eye-opening post! Wishing you a great rest of the week.
Yes! Totally on spot with your feelings. I just shared this blog post with 4 other new-ish moms that brought up this exact topic with me the other day. No matter which label we choose to identify with, we’re all moms trying to raise our kids as best as we can 🙂
You bring up some very valid points. I have been all of those moms at one time. Thanks for sharing on smallvictorysundaylinkup!
I love this article. As somebody who’s broken boundaries on these titles by being all three or a combination there of, it’s such tricky waters to navigate and you always feel like you’re messing up. When I worked outside of the home, I got the passive aggressive “oh, I would hate to not be there for my children… They’re only young once and it’d kill me to miss it!” When I worked from home, I got “Gosh, it must be so nice to work when you want and still be there for your children.” And when I was a SAHM, I got “I’d love to have nothing to do all day but play with the kids!”
Each time, each comment I got pangs of guilt… “Am I missing my child’s life?” or “Wait, I’m working from home but I feel like I’m never with my kids, am I don’t this wrong?” or “Nothing to do? If I have nothing on my plate, why do I feel so frantic and behind the 8-ball all the time?”
I love reinforcing that we need to just step away from the mommy wars and assume everybody is just doing the best they know how to do on behalf of their families.
I am a stay-at-home mom all summer, since I work from home and my kids are school-aged. It’s really hard, but it is a blessing.
That’s great. I’m glad you’re able to do both
SUCH A GREAT POST! I’m totally with you – why does everyone have to be placed into a category?! Thanks so much for taking the time to link up with us over at the #HomeMattersParty – we hope to see you again this Friday!