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First love is a very special experience for teenagers. Suddenly, you have a constant fluttering of the heart and don’t want to be without the other person. Teenagers who are happily in love are under a tremendous rush of hormones. All the feelings in their body seem to be scurrying around. At first, you’re sky high. It feels like you can actually pull out trees. Then, if your sweetheart doesn’t check in for a few hours or doesn’t answer a text message, you quickly panic. Anxiety, sadness and brooding are a normal reaction in teenagers.
Unlike adults, they haven’t yet learned that you have to be patient even in a love relationship and not always freak out right away. Most of the time, sadness or jealousy is completely uncalled for, because everything clears up a little later.
The first crushes rarely last long. Because both girls and boys still need practice in dealing with relationship issues, the one or other love affair goes to pieces. When you experience the pain of separation for the first time, it’s especially bad. If you also had sex together for the first time, it feels even more uncomfortable when the relationship is over.
Heartbreak is not a pretty thing. It seems like nothing and no one can help. Then you’d like to retreat, bury yourself under the covers and just sip cocoa. At least that’s usually the case with girls. Guys are deliberately more relaxed on the outside, but on the inside they also suffer from breakups.
Heartbreak: This Is What It Feels Like
You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. In other words: nothing is exclusively pleasant. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages. This also means that first love has its downsides. Sooner or later you will probably be sad, annoyed or angry because your boyfriend or girlfriend has done something that doesn’t suit you at all.
Sometimes this leads to arguments and discussions. If you can’t come to an agreement, then it can lead to a breakup. So you decide to “break up”. This decision is usually easier for one of the two than for the other.
In young years it is often the case that one falls in love with someone else, although one is actually already in a relationship. If the other person finds out that you actually want someone else, he or she will not be happy about it. Breakups due to infidelity are especially painful. The person who has been cheated on or left for someone else feels insulted and his or her self-esteem hurt.
Then it seems like the whole world has conspired against you and you are terribly unhappy. Most teens feel during the breakup that they will never find someone as good a match for them again. Of course, that’s not true. Always remember: there are a tremendous number of “fish” swimming in the pond. Among them are also for you some with whom you could get along well.
Not only infidelity, but also leaving with insults in the quarrel hurts. When your sweetheart doesn’t want to know anything more about you or suddenly calls you stupid, you naturally feel offended. The person in whom you have confided now completely unexpectedly violates your own trust. It’s hard to keep a grip on yourself. Again and again you have to cry or stifle your tears.
If you suffer a lot from the breakup, you may even experience physical discomfort. Maybe you suddenly have no appetite at all. Or you get headaches and feel altogether uncomfortable in your skin. But rest assured: this state of emergency may be bad, but it will soon pass. Even if you can’t imagine it at the moment, this pain will soon come to an end.
Here’s What You Can Do About It
Breakups are stressful for adults and kids. Unfortunately, teenagers are often not taken seriously by those around them when they suffer from heartbreak. Yet first love touches us particularly deeply and can bring with it an intimate bond. If this bond breaks, it is just as painful as when an adult couple separates. Admittedly, children do not face as many problems as adults (for example, they suddenly have to live alone, have less money or even have a child together). Nevertheless, the mourning period after the breakup is not a walk in the park for them.
So that you are well prepared for the eventuality, we would like to give you a number of tips against heartbreak today.
Everything has its time. Therefore, please do not try to suppress your grief. It’s okay for guys to cry, too. If you are afraid to talk to others about your feelings, go to a quiet, solitary place. Retreat to your room or go for a walk. Then you can cry to your heart’s content. This calms you down and makes you feel better afterwards. Think of it as cleansing, which is the first step on your way to a happy single life.
While you shouldn’t get too wrapped up in your own misery. But for girls, a movie night with your best friend, watching love movies, can be quite healing. Because you can let your grief run free and live it out in good company.
Friends As Support
Keyword best friend. At your age, friends are usually the first port of call when it comes to heartbreak. Kids rarely confide in their parents in these matters. That’s why it’s important to let your friends help you.
Talk to them about how you are feeling. Distract yourself by doing something with them or telling them everything in detail. A good best friend is there for you and can listen to you for hours if need be. Regular phone calls help when you can’t see your friends that often.
Boys can distract themselves by playing games or sports with their friends. By the way, sports are a great way to get rid of pent-up aggression and anger. Afterwards you feel wonderfully free and light.
Keep Your Distance
Especially at the beginning of the separation phase it is very painful to meet your ex. If the loved one is in the company of a new flame, the sight hurts even more. Therefore, you should avoid contact with your ex at all costs. With time, it will be easier for you not to let any more feelings come up. Then you can talk to him or her again. Until then, however, it is better to let it go and get used to the idea of not seeing or hearing him or her for a while.
Let It Go
When you are sad, you need support and relaxation. That’s why it’s important to do something good for yourself. Run a bubble bath, go shopping with friends, or curl up in your bed for hours to read. No matter what it is, what you do should take your mind off things and contribute to your well-being. By the way, playing with a pet or cuddling can also help a lot. These endearments are a great substitute for contact with the ex or exes.
Act Out Anger
After a breakup, you feel alternately angry, pissed off, offended, and deeply sad. While you need support and comfort during your sad phases, you should also act out your anger every now and then. Run until you can’t run anymore. Play sports, work out at the gym, or go dancing. You can also go for a walk in the field or in the forest and scream to your heart’s content if you feel like it. This can be incredibly liberating!
Do you still have a lot on your mind that you want to tell your ex? Then write a letter in which you record everything that still needs to be said. This will make it easier to close the deal. Depending on how you want it, you can send it or just burn it or tear it up. This also has a relieving effect.
A New Beginning
Breakups are a wonderful occasion to change your life a bit. You can distract yourself well from the pain by starting a new hobby, for example. With a bit of luck, you may even meet new people there or meet a new flame who can console you over the loss.
Do Not Rush
Should you fall in love again, don’t be too hasty. It’s okay to have someone help you digest the breakup. However, you should proceed with caution so that you don’t stumble into the next doomed relationship.
Worksheet For The Text
1) Do you know what heartbreak feels like? Write down your own experiences and what you remembered from the text.
2) What can you do if you suffer from breakup pain? Compare what you wrote down with the person sitting next to you.
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