Quarrels With Parents – What Children Should Know About It

Every child experiences arguments with his or her parents from time to time. Because it’s your parents’ job to take care of you and raise you, that’s usually okay. After all, they don’t always agree with you. A discussion can then very quickly turn into a quarrel.

It becomes difficult when you are constantly and apparently unjustifiably insulted or when your parents insult you. It is not okay to be bombarded with swear words by your parents.

In some situations, it is necessary that you immediately obey your parents’ requests. This is the case, for example, in dangerous situations (in the car, when crossing the street, or in large crowds). It can happen that you find the tone of voice of your mom or dad too sharp. But don’t take it personally if it’s a dangerous situation. Your parents still love you just as much as before.

In any case, after such a situation, your parents must explain to you what happened if you ask. Most children don’t want to get on their parents’ nerves on purpose. They want to understand why mom and dad react irritably. I’m sure you feel the same way, don’t you?

Emotional Violence

Do you feel insecure because you no longer understand your parents? Some children lack stability in life because they can no longer trust their parents or no longer feel loved.

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If your parents can’t explain to you why they are yelling at you, you probably feel sad. Maybe they get loud out of the blue and let you feel it when they are in a bad mood. Sometimes parents can’t help it because they’re not feeling well. But that’s no excuse for treating you badly.

Parents may scold their children if it is justified. But that doesn’t mean they should be allowed to yell all the time for no reason. After all, children like you need peace, quiet, and trust in their daily lives in order to feel comfortable.

Parents’ yelling for no reason is a form of violence against children. We speak of violence when a person does not treat another well or wants to impose his will on him. This violence can be physical or emotional. Physical violence has to do with beatings, pain, wounds, and scars. Mental, emotional violence, however, is no less severe. It is when people are neglected, insulted, no longer loved, or ignored.

Emotional and physical violence against children is not allowed. On the one hand, you must not inflict violence on other children. On the other hand, adults must not commit violence against children.

If you notice that one of your friends is being mistreated by his or her parents, talk to an adult about it. It may be necessary to get help to help your friend. Because insults against children are not always completely harmless. Under no circumstances, however, should you get involved in such things without an adult’s assessment and help.

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Neglect – A Form Of Emotional Violence

Your parents need to make sure you have everything you need. This includes not leaving you alone. Older children are allowed to be home alone for a while. But if your parents leave you alone all day, that’s not okay. Because that is also a form of violence. This behavior is called neglect.

Also, for parents who have to work all day, there are many ways to keep you busy. You could go to a daycare center, spend the afternoon with other family members, or stay at a children’s playgroup until your parents get home. Either way, you shouldn’t be left alone all day.

Talk to your parents about it if you feel lonely. Are you afraid they won’t love you anymore? Tell them that too.

Neglect is also when your parents don’t pay attention to you anymore. Do they not care if you are bored? It is your parents’ job to always be there for you when you need them.

As a child, you need support when you don’t feel well. If you are not getting this at home, please talk to someone about it. It is best to talk to a trusted adult in your community. If this is not possible, you can use one of the services listed below or telephone counseling services.

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Help With Emotional Violence

If you are being mistreated at home by one of your family members, you don’t have to be alone. Don’t torture yourself any longer by not sharing your grief with anyone. There is help for children like you. Check out the links below for information on what you can do.

For Children From Germany


For Children From Austria


For Children From Switzerland


In most cases, family counseling helps the situation to improve. Then no further measures are necessary. So you don’t have to be afraid of going to a children’s home right away if you get help.

Many parents need an impetus to change something. Counseling can be the first impetus to get them thinking. A skilled family counselor is sympathetic to your parents but can set clear boundaries. He or she will show them what is okay and what is not.

The first point of contact can be telephone counseling services or grief boxes on the Internet. If you want, you can talk to your class teacher or a guidance counselor about your problem. You might find our article on Internet chat rooms interesting. Take a look at it!

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Once you talk to an adult about your problem, you’ve already done a lot. Soon you will get more support and learn more about your rights and options. The next step will probably be to go to a family counseling center.

Sometimes talking to family counselors only helps for a short time. When things eventually go back to the way they were, another solution may be better. Family therapy is the next step in the right direction. There, your family can very slowly learn how to deal with each other properly, even in difficult situations. It can take quite a while for things to improve.

But if therapy doesn’t help, or if your parents start hitting you, go to a local crisis center with an adult. There are educators there who can assess your situation. They will then decide what should happen next.

Worksheet For The Text

1) Explain the difficult words from the text.
What does…

  • Violence
  • Physical violence
  • Emotional violence
  • Neglect

2) Find some emergency numbers or local places to call for your state. Use the links from the text.

3) What can you do if you feel that your parents no longer love you? Bring in your own ideas as well. Design a poster on this topic.

Photo: monkeybusinessimages / bigstockphoto.com

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