Separation With Child: Suddenly A Single Parent

I had imagined it so beautifully. My own little family. And now I was standing there, in front of the shards of my relationship. In retrospect, I asked myself why I had had a child with this man. Was I really so blinded by love? Probably. But sometimes you can only understand life in retrospect.

I Let Go, Let Go Now

Yes, perhaps I should have known better. Especially from today’s perspective. But it doesn’t help to reproach my past self. The child cannot be thought away. I have no choice but to make the best of the situation. At the same time, I have a lot of respect for and fear of being a single parent.

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What We Can’t Do Alone, We Can Do Together

At the beginning, I thought that I had to master everything on my own. But I don’t have to.
I asked my mother if she would always pick up my child from daycare so that I could go to work. Without her, that wouldn’t be possible. And I bet there are more people like my mom. Being overwhelmed is not a badge of armor, admitting that and seeking help is responsible and shows strength.

Perfect Imperfection

Nobody is perfect. Admittedly, this sounds a bit hackneyed. But it is much more about the demands on oneself. If you always have too high demands on yourself, you can never live up to them. A vicious circle. Don’t expect everything to go on exactly as it did before the breakup.

Surround Yourself With People Who Are Good For You

Your situation is new and stressful. You really don’t need people who drain your energy. The constant wrangling over arrangements and visitation times with the father of my child cost me a lot of energy. I stopped because it didn’t make sense. It just didn’t work.
The bottom line is that everyone benefits now.

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Stay Self-Determined

Too many times in my life I said “yes” just because I wanted to be liked. I’ve since learned how good it can feel to say “no.” It doesn’t mean rejection, but knowing yourself, your wants and needs and giving value to those.
By saying “no,” you show self-respect. This is incredibly important.
Because for the little person in my life, I am the linchpin.
If you are doing well, it will also benefit your children.

Don’t Try To Change What You Can’t Change

A philosopher once said that you have to stand in front of a mountain until you have the power to conquer it. If you cannot do this yet, there is no point in looking at the mountain all the time.
It will continue to stand there and you in front of it. If my family no longer exists, I cannot change that for the time being. But I can either continue to dwell on that thought, or turn my gaze in another direction.

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Do Not Make Your Self-Esteem Dependent On Your Performance

You have to stay at home again for the time being because you no longer have a man to look after your child? That’s annoying.
Don’t link your value to your accomplishments. You are valuable regardless of what you do. And why? Because you are unique just the way you are. Or do you know someone who is just like you?

Don’t Let Your Inner Critic Take Precedence

We all know it. Thoughts like “If only I had…”, or “I can’t do this.”
You are usually much harder on yourself than others.
Pay conscious attention to your voice, but don’t let it dominate you. You are still the master of your thoughts and since they spring from you, it seems logical that only you can banish them.

Conclusion:

Despite the external circumstances, only you have the chance to shape your life yourself and develop it again and again according to your wishes. Nobody will live your life for you.
It belongs only to you, so enjoy it! I myself have not yet been able to fully implement all this advice. It is a process.

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The best products for you and your baby.

Baby monitor

With a baby monitor, you can use your time flexibly, sleep peacefully at night and still know at all times that your baby is doing well.

Nursing pillow

A good breastfeeding pillow has several advantages, because it helps you not only to breastfeed, but also to fall asleep and is also suitable as a nest.

Diaper bags

A diaper bag offers you a lot of storage space, so that you have everything you need for your baby on the go - from the changing pad to the bottle.

Pucksack

A pucksack gives your baby the feeling of security, like in the womb, and thus supports a peaceful and restful sleep.

Bicycle trailer

Bicycle trailers can be used in combination with a baby seat shortly after birth. They are not only safer than child seats but also more comfortable.

Playpen

A playpen can be very practical in everyday life! Which model is suitable for your needs, you can read in my guide.

Baby bed

The first bed accompanies your child for years. Fortunately, there are beds that grow with your child. I have made for you on the search for the best baby beds.

Stroller

A stroller is a worthwhile purchase. But there are the most diverse models on the market. Find out which is the right one.

Radiant heater

Radiant heaters provide your child with the necessary warmth when changing diapers or after bathing.

Extra bed

Side beds are very practical and offer both mother and baby a lot of advantages, because for babies, especially in the first months of life, it is reassuring to be able to sleep next to their parents.

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