Whatever stage of life we are in, and whatever stage of childhood our kids are in, I think most of us spend our days knowing we could have been a better mom. That sounds a little depressing at first. That doesn't mean you're a bad mom or that you've done anything wrong. It just means that we feel that we could have done things better. This is actually a very positive feeling.
Did you let your kids watch too much TV? Did you give them a cookie when they begged instead of giving them a healthier snack? Did you check Facebook one too many times when you should have been playing peek a boo?
What is the ONE THING that would make you a better Mom?
For me, it would be patience. I would give myself more patience to deal with my little ones on a daily (hourly) basis. I would try to keep my cool when my toddler runs off and doesn't listen to me to come back. I would be calmer and more understanding when my baby has trouble sleeping through the night because she is teething. If I had more patience, I think I would be a better mom.
If you could change one thing, what would it be?
Advice and Stories from Real Moms
More quality time
Not being so busy! I always find myself at the end of the day saying that I should have spent more quality time with my kids. Playing games, make believe, playing in the kitchen together, or playing outside. - Brittany from Pennies Into Pearls
Just be present
I have to constantly remind myself not to multi-task. I need to put down the phone, put the to-do list aside and just be present with my son. It's so hard sometimes, because we want to do things for our families, but sometimes they just need us to be WITH them rather than doing things for them. - Donella from Glue Sticks and Gumdrops
Patience
As a mom I really have a problem with patience. I need more of it. - Trista from Mamas Little Minions
More patience
For me the biggest thing is having patience. When my son insists on picking his nose and wiping it on his sleeve, I'm the first one to say, "go get a tissue and do that in private." His response, "why mom they're natural just like farts." So I have got to learn to just laugh and realize that with a little patience he will understand that one day, hiding the picking of his nose will have to happen, especially if he wants a girlfriend. - Vina Kent from The Full Time Schoolhouse
Parenting without saying No
It’s really easy to say no… WAY too easy. So it’s not going to be a cake walk to retrain your mind to ditch negative words and actions like “no”, “stop”, “don’t”, “can’t”, etc. but it is possible. It took me a long time and I am still not perfect. It’s all about practice. - Kara from Extremely Good Parenting
Less is more
To stop being an overachiever. Each day I want to embrace the less is more motto. By changing my perspective I can see the beauty in all things, especially my children. - Tasia from Batavia's Best Bargains
Stop working too much
Hello, my name is Marina and I am a workaholic. Even though I work from home, I believe that I am spending too much hours working. I've always been workaholic and just can't live without work. I even get nervous when I finish the project and there is nothing for me to do at the moment. I am always thinking of new ideas and just can't relax and just enjoy the life. I think I would be much better mother if I can just learn how to let go of work and enjoy some nice activities with my toddler without thinking what will I do next with my work project. - Marina from Parental Journey
More time
The ONE THING that would make make me a better mother would be more time. Sometimes all I need to be a better mom is a little bit of time to decompress and then get right back to it. But it seems as though there is never enough time to get anything done, let alone time for me. So that would be amazing! - Dana from Momma Didn't Say
Don't compare yourself to other moms
Stop comparing myself to the younger Moms. And, realize that my son doesn't care if his mommy is older than the other Mommies, has gray hair and wrinkly skin. As long as he knows I love him more than anything in the World!! - Kim from This Ole Mom
Sleep
I struggle form insomnia since baby #2 and feel I have neglected my "parental duties", such as cleaning. The one thing I remember is to give my kids the attention they need despite being sleep deprived. With love and patience. I don't want them to remember how tired mom was, but the fun we had together. - Tahnee from Sincerely Rose
More sleep!
More sleep! Being a mom is challenging enough! Trying to do it in "zombie" mode is nearly impossible. - Sarah from Grounded and Surrounded
More Me time
Dear Children, I would be an awesome mom if you took longer naps. Because then I could nap and binge watch Netflix and read for a while and feel like a real person before you woke up to remind me your are the boss of me. - Marie Osborne from MarieOsborne.com
Thank you Moms!
What I hear over and over again is that there is just not enough time in the day for everything we need to do - be present for our kids, sleep, work, clean, Me time. We need to prioritize the things we need to do and realize that we can't do it all. Move some things from the "need to" list to the "want to" list (like cleaning!) and relax a little bit. Good luck Mommies.
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Love your “parenting lounge” posts Kristen!
Thanks!
Same thing for grandmoms. I love spending quality time.
That’s true!
This is great! I agree with them all, but I think stop multi-tasking is a BIG one for me. I get so caught up in making sure things are done, I forget to leave the dishes dirty so I can stop and play. I’m sharing this fabulous post today! Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone!
Thank you! And you are certainly not alone.
What awesome practical advice! I love that it’s all from the experts — other moms! I learned a lot from this blog post today. No matter how many kids I’ve had (mom to 5, foster mom to 35+), what I’ve learned is that I need to learn some more. 🙂 Thank you for sharing.
Wow! That’s a lot of kids. What an amazing mom you must be.
Getting sufficient sleep each night would certainly be the key. The kids still cause me insomnia almost nightly.
That’s number 2 on my list! Before I had kids I actually thought that once the baby time is gone then they sleep through the night all the time. Hahaha. I was clueless.
SLEEP!! Love this post. I just read the best book on being a mom and wrote about it on my blog this week.
Awesome! I’ll have to check that out. Thanks for sharing
This is advice is still good for my 6 year old. If I do these things, he does much better.
Babies should come with an extra 24 hours a week! That’s only fair, right? 🙂
Definitely! That and a manual.
Since I am in the teenage stage I would say right now to be a better mom I need to “nag” less. I politely refer to my nagging as “reminders” but honestly it is nagging. “Have you….” “Did you…” “do the….” “don’t forget your….”. With my kids 12 and up I think I would be a better mom if I would just stop with all these reminders um….NAGGING and just let them start remembering for themselves and if they don’t, they will learn from their consequences.
That’s a great point! I try not to nag my husband but it’s hard.
Loved this post. I can relate to the workaholic thing. I love having a project (or several), and it’s hard for me to let things sit to enjoy family time. That’s something I really need to work on. Thanks for including me!
Thanks for your answer. It seemed to be pretty common for all the moms. We want to be present but there is just so much to do!
Sometimes, because we homeschool, I spend more time interacting with the kids about their schoolwork than anything else. Instead, I feel like I should be relaxed enough to stop and have fun with them. That’s my one thing 🙂
Yeah I can see how that would be hard to disconnect from “teacher” to “mom.”