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Every baby is a very unique little person, and siblings often differ noticeably in their behavior and idiosyncrasies even in the first few weeks of life. – Some mothers are pushed to their limits by a baby that only feels comfortable with mom and rejects every other caregiver with loud screams.
This is just as difficult a situation for fathers as it is for mothers, because no one likes to be rejected and be the second choice, and no one really wants to have to be there 24 hours a day to avoid a drama.
Is It Because The Mother Is A Mother Hen?
Often there is well-meaning advice for families with a baby who only wants to spend time with mom, that not the baby, but the mother would promote this effect through exaggerated motherhood. – That she is the one who can’t let go of her child and that’s why the child is “alienated” by his father, grandparents and aunts.
Tendency To The Mummy-child Can Be Innate
The fact is that for most children, the “stranger phase” does not begin until the seventh to ninth month of life, and a large proportion of babies are very relaxed with different caregivers by then. However, a majority is never a whole and so there are also babies whose brain chemistry predetermines a mommy-child tendency from birth. In developmental science, it is said that 40% of babies are not easily upset by anything, and another 40% prefer to be with mom, but take a short separation just as calmly. Around 20% of babies are very demanding, show very strong separation anxiety and cling to mom’s skirt around the clock.
So What To Do With A Mommy Child?
On the one hand, it is important to give in to the child’s innate basic need for security – a mommy’s child wants to experience closeness and trust from the mother in the first months and should also learn bonding skills this way.
On the other hand, it is also important to counteract gently from the beginning: the world will not end if mom goes to gymnastics once a week or goes shopping in peace and quiet, and in the meantime dad takes over baby duty.
There will be a lot of crying at the beginning, but over time the baby will learn that dad can also cuddle and offer security and safety.
So here too, as so often, the happy medium is the best choice.
But Regardless Of Whether It’s A Mummy’s Child Or A Daddy’s Child:
Babies don’t just want to be fed and changed regularly – newborns need strong attention and nest warmth right from the start.
Nest warmth is indispensable for proper mental, physical and emotional development. – On the one hand, this involves physical closeness through cuddling together, and baby massage can also be extremely suitable for this. Many midwives today already give young parents initial tips and tricks for more physical closeness and bonding with the child. Pediatricians are also available to answer questions and offer suggestions. Above all, the closeness to the child is also a pleasure for the parents!
It’s not just the cuddling that makes the difference – the little people should be approached with attention and interest right from the start. A friendly tone of voice and especially facial expressions are always important! Babies study facial expressions from the very beginning – facial expressions are the first thing they try to interpret and learn from. That is why a baby never cries immediately when it sees someone new, but looks at facial features for a few seconds and then decides whether someone seems friendly or “bad”. As a parent, you should always keep this in mind and influence your child positively and with joy.
The seriousness of life should play absolutely no role for a small baby – trust and tenderness and a positive attitude to life should be conveyed to your offspring from day one. – So cuddle, laugh and enjoy together!