When my second baby was born, I kept a diary for a little while. It was nothing in depth, just a few sentences about my day, what happened and how I felt. I had forgotten all about it and then found it again a few days ago. I wanted to share it with you all so when you’re in this situation you know you’re not alone.
Madeline was born on Christmas day in 2013. Jordan was about 21 months old at that time when I became a mom of two. These diary entries cover just about the first month of her life.
DIARY
12/31 Tuesday- I made it through the first day of being home with Jordan and Maddy. It was a long day but I got a shower and both kids got their clothes changed. That doesn’t seem like a lot but it was. The house was a complete wreck. I’m worried that Jordan is watching too much TV and not learning enough.
Maddy is sleeping but Jordan won’t stop crying. I have gotten about 30 minutes sleep so far and it’s 10:45. This sucks.
Another night of marathon nursing. Over 2 hours now. I can’t take much more. I think I’ve had an hours sleep total tonight so far.
1/1 Wednesday- Last night was the worst. Maddy was up from 12-4 and wanting to nurse the whole time. I gave up at 4 and started crying and went to the living room. I just left Maddy with Rand and said I couldn’t handle it anymore. We gave her two doses of gas drops and it didn’t seem to help.
1/2 Thursday- Last night was better. Maddy slept more but still had gas. I have the best husband. He takes care of all of us and let’s me sleep. I don’t know what I’d do without him. I’m still feeling pretty emotional and crying a lot.
I gave Maddy a bath today by myself. Jordan helped me. She is so sweet.
1/3 Friday- Maddy was up a lot last night but then slept from 3-7. The morning went ok but Jordan took a short nap and then cried and whined about everything. I think she is jealous and feeling neglected. I hope not. I love her so much. Cried some more today.
1/5 Sunday- I got about 6 hours sleep last night. Not bad. I’ve been having a lot of internal gas and it’s really painful. I have to admit that I am not a good SAHM. Jordan watches way too much TV. I am glad this will only last until March, I couldn’t do it much longer. I hope this is for the best.
1/9 Thursday- Things have been a lot better. I don’t know if it’s because I am not eating dairy, but the colic and gas have gone way down. Maddy is sleeping through the night and only waking up once or twice. My emotions have really evened out and I am feeling much more grounded. Our big outing today was a walk around the block.
1/13 Monday- Yesterday was a big day. Jordan said “I love you” for the first time!! It was amazing. She is saying so many new words and sentences now. All in the past week or so, it has been a language explosion. We went to breakfast at The Egg and I and it was Maddy’s first restaurant experience. She was an angel and slept through the whole thing. BUT that night she would not go to sleep. She had colic and cried for HOURS. It was horrible. Luckily it was slow at work for Rand and he came home early. He stopped and got Colic Calm on the way home and when we gave it to Maddy she was out like a light for hours. Thank you God!!
1/18 Saturday- It’s been a long couple of days. Maddy’s colic was horrible but the Colic Calm really worked wonders. During those days her thrush was really thick and I think contributed to her tummy troubles. The thrush is much better now and so is the colic. Jordan is talking up a storm too!! New words every day. I am so proud of her.
1/20 Monday- Rand is off today, yay! Rand, Maddy and Jordan are all napping right now and I am savoring some alone time. Last night Maddy and Jordan both went to sleep before 8pm. It was amazing but I kept not believing it and thinking she would wake up. She slept all the way until midnight and then woke up again at 5am. Wow, I wish she would do that every night!
1/26 Saturday- Yesterday was another day of highs and lows (aren’t they all??). Rand was home in the morning and then took Jordan to daycare when he left for work. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom for sending her to daycare, but I know she loves it. I took Maddy to Michael’s and the grocery store. She cried a lot. Ugh.
Jordan has been extra clingy to me lately. Poor baby. I love her so much, but Maddy takes up a lot of my time. Being a mom is hard.
I also discussed introducing a new baby to the family in the Parenting Lounge.
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Thanks for your open, honest post- like all the moms have said, it makes me feel so much better knowing I’m not the first to go through this.
Question, please- did Jordan’s tv time reduce? Was she worse off for the amount of tv she watched? I’m surviving at the moment since my newborn isn’t even a month and I can’t think of activities to do with my 21 month old… I can’t gather the strength either tbh
This is one of the most encouraging posts I’ve read. Knowing that other moms are going through the same things is so helpful. Thank you for your honesty!
I love how open and honest you are with this post. I’m reading it as I rock my (3rd) baby to sleep and I so remember having all the same feelings with my second baby. This time around I feel much more relaxed and am enjoying even the sleepless nights because I know they won’t last forever.
Me too! My third is now almost 10 months. Where does the time go?? It’s so bittersweet knowing he is the last one. I didn’t have time to write a diary this time around.
Hi I just wanted to say thank you for being completely open and honest. I’ve got 4 weeks left until I give birth to my second and am really concerned with how I’ll handle a newborn with a nearly 2 year old. I’m reassuring to know others have the same fears/concerns as me. Glad you advised in the comments it gets easier once they can play together, I’m already looking forward to that time!
Thanks for your honestly!
You’ll do fine mama! When it gets tough, just remember it WILL get better.
Thank you for this me and my husband are trying to get pregnant with our second child and ive been searching the web for ideas of how to help and calm our son when i do become pregnant (which I may already be) but if so our children will be 17/18 months apart!
Congratulations! I’m not gonna lie, having two kids close in age like that is really tough at first, but it gets much easier when they can play together.
Thank you for sharing this- our second daughter is due in March and our girls will also have a 21 month age difference. I’m so excited and a little scared.
Just remember it will get easier! 🙂