How To Protect Your Boundaries

Children and teens don’t always have it easy when it comes to their rights. Unfortunately, they are often victims of domestic or school violence from parents, peers and teachers. Some kids have to put up with unpleasant things like intimidation, humiliation or even threats. This makes it all the more important to be able to combat these everyday forms of violence.

First, you should know about your rights as a child. You can find out more about this in our related article or by clicking on this link.

In addition, it is important that you are able to defend your boundaries with self-confidence and self-assurance. We would now like to show you how to do this.

Self-Protection – What Is It Exactly?

Self-protection does not mean that you have to hit back. Because self-protection goes much further. Basically, you should know how to avoid dicey situations in advance. Experts also call this area of self-protection violence prevention. This term is made up of the words violence and prevention. Prevention, in turn, means nothing other than prevention.

You can learn how to avoid violent situations as an individual child in a self-defense course. There you will learn exactly how not to provoke a physical confrontation. Do you know the word provoke? It means something like challenge.

Although you will learn about violence prevention in the course, we would like to share some principles with you.

To Prevent Violence From Happening In The First Place: Violence Prevention

Of course, you are not solely responsible for preventing violence. Especially during school time it is the task of the teaching staff to prevent violence as good as possible. Students should not develop frustration and should be involved in the lessons. Failure experiences must not weigh too heavily – distraction is especially important for kids who are prone to violence. School should not only be about imparting knowledge. Your teachers also have the task of educating you and your classmates. Thus, the topic of violence should also be dealt with in detail. Kids should learn at school how to deal with their frustrations. They should understand which behavior is desirable and which is not.

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Normally, this works quite well. Nevertheless, there can be individual arguments that build up. It is not uncommon for this to end in a fight or bullying.

The following checklist provides you with tips on how to behave if a violent situation arises:

  • Keep reminding yourself not to get too involved in argumentative conversations. Rather, distance yourself by ending the conversation or simply walking away. As soon as you get scared, contact one of your teachers.
  • Stay fair. When you spread lies or rumors about others, they can get very upset. This is perfectly understandable, but sometimes leads to arguments. This can be avoided by staying honest and not gossiping about others.
  • Sometimes it’s fun to tease others a little. Usually you have a sense of how far you can go with your friends before they get really mad. However, the line between funny and unpleasant is also pretty easy to miss. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Avoid sayings that are really hurtful.
  • Being smart is great. Smart kids are often proud of themselves. And rightfully so! However, don’t brag about your knowledge. It can be very annoying to others if you constantly improve on them or don’t let them have their say because you think you’re smarter.
  • Don’t worsen the class climate by interfering everywhere and knowing everything better! Because even later in adult life, cheeky people are rarely popular.
  • Avoid physical violence yourself, so as not to become a victim at some point. Because if you give out blows, you may have to take them yourself at some point in the worst case.
  • Develop a sense for dangerous situations. Observe your counterpart: Does he seem tense, annoyed or ready to use violence? If so, you should take it easy. Some disputes can be better resolved by letting the dust settle. Talk about it again a little later. In the meantime, tempers can cool. It is also a good time to think things over.
  • If you get involved in a violent confrontation, try to escape. It is better to make a run for it than to fight back. Only in this way can you get help in time to possibly bail out others innocently involved.
  • Take note of the tips on how to avoid bullying and cyberbullying on our website. Better well informed than badly treated.
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Self-Assertion And Self-Defense – What Is What?

In connection with defending your boundaries, you will come across some terms that may be new to you. The following definitions should help you to find your way around more easily and prepare you for a self-defense course.


This refers to the ability to be aware of your own limits. Furthermore, one makes them clear and defends them.

Not all people assert themselves outwardly in the same way. Some are shy and reserved, others appear very self-confident. If you are one of the self-confident types, you intuitively (i.e., by yourself) know how to defend your boundaries.

Insecure, shy or quiet kids may need some support in showing others their boundaries. They can get “coaching” in self-assertion at a self-defense course. By the way, such a course is suitable for all kids. Because even self-confident kids should practice how best to defend themselves when talking no longer helps.

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Self-assertion is trained by practicing cross-border situations over and over again. In this role play, you learn to recognize signs of violence. Depending on the situation, different self-assertion techniques are used. In this way, physical violence can be avoided completely in the best case.


If mere self-assertion no longer helps because, for example, one is already physically attacked, self-defense comes into play. Depending on what kind of violence one experiences, one uses different techniques, for example, to free oneself. For example, a child who has taken a self-defense course can quite easily free himself if he is held down by a stronger child or adult. In an emergency, this can save lives.

People practice these techniques very often so that they know what to do even in the stress of an emergency. That’s why self-defense courses are especially valuable. If you have already dealt with dangerous situations in a playful way, you won’t be so easily frightened in an emergency. After all, you know what to do.

Your Local Self-Defense Course

Now you already know a lot about how to prevent violence. However, in order to use self-defense techniques safely and effectively, you should take a self-defense course in your city. This is the only way you can practice how to behave in an emergency. In addition to practical courses based on martial arts, there are also courses that give you a general overview of how to act in violent situations. Take a look at the two links below to find out about your local options:

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The Safe and Strong initiative aims to protect children from violence and abuse. Strengthening self-confidence, promoting communication skills – these are the principles of this initiative. To this end, the team of experts works with elementary schools, holds courses and conducts research projects on violence and the media. In addition to courses in elementary schools, there are also small group courses. Talk to your class teacher about it if you’re interested.

No matter which country you come from: Here you will find an overview of the majority of martial arts schools. You only need to adjust the search mask according to your wishes. And you will receive a list with contact details and websites of the schools in your immediate vicinity.

Tip: Ask the local police together with your parents if you are interested in a pure self-defense course. Specially trained police officers hold courses for younger and older kids all the time. This way you can learn directly from the professionals how to defend yourself without breaking the law.

Worksheet For The Text

1) Explain the difficult words from the text.
What does…

  • Violence prevention
  • provoke someone

2) Access the website on the class PC. Note the following search criteria:

  • Country: Here you choose your country.
  • Region: Click on the region where you live.
  • Fighting style: Click on “all”.
  • Town/Postcode: Enter either the name of your hometown or the postal code.

Then click on “search” (small gray button at the bottom).

Look at a few entries that sound interesting. Which martial arts would you like to do? Visit some of the websites listed and decide on one of the schools. Write down here which one would most interest you and why.

Photo: swisshippo /

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